Miley Cyrus Twerks Her Way Into Infamy

    All right Miley, you win! You have officially out done Lady Gaga and her outrageously annoying garb, the heartwarming “Same Love” performance preaching love regardless of sexual orientation, and finally NYSNC’s highly anticipated reunion, with your X-rated Robin Thicke teddy bear dance party at the VMAs.

    Let’s recap. You emerged from a gigantic stuffed bear, repeatedly licked the air and stroked your imaginary locks in what would have been a seductive away… if you actually had hair (and not alien-esque buns sitting on top of your shaved head).Then, you danced with numerous giant teddy bears, and motor boated a 7-foot-tall woman as she skipped on stage wearing a lime green G-string.

    After you had sufficiently fascinated (weirded out) everyone watching, you stripped off your own gray teddy bear leotard, and began strutting around stage in a nude latex bikini.

    If this wasn’t enough, Robin Thicke slinks onto stage looking like a pimped out Beetlejuice, and begins singing his international hit “Blurred Lines”. As he proudly boasts about how he cannot differentiate between consensual sex and rape, you twerk your latex butt all over stage (and him), while sticking your tongue out and forever infiltrating everyone’s nightmares.

    Okay. OKAY. We all understand that you are no longer the Disney star who rocked a blonde wig on Hannah Montana. And, that’s okay, Miley. We all grow up eventually. However, most people don’t grind with teddy bears on national TV during their transition to adulthood.

    I guess the question running through everyone’s mind isn’t where all your sexual frustration came from, or why you decided to spew it all over TV and the Internet, but more so why you channeled Lady Gaga’s attention hungry outfits and Pee Wee Herman’s disturbed fun house into your VMA performance?

    You are a seemingly normal 20 year old girl who has been through Hollywood and spit back out; don’t let fame get the best of you like it has so many who have come before you! It is a slippery slope into Lindsay Lohanville, my friend.

    Critics throughout America are chastising you for your provocative dance moves, your un-toned ass and your twerking with a married father on television. But guess what? I don’t care about any of that.

    I am personally calling you out because I think I think you have talent and can be a professional artist — but not if you keep degrading and embarrassing yourself. Rise to the occasion and be the musician and actor you obviously wish you were; someone who is memorable and outstanding… not because you’re bouncing around wearing latex panties on stage.

    To read more about Miley Cyrus’s performance on the VMA’s click here:

    To laugh, click here:

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